This week, twenty-one years ago, my husband and I got married. We had been preparing for the wedding for over a year and almost everything that could go wrong had gone wrong. The details are not so important here but so much had happened that it looked like there were forces at play that did not want us to get married. But one thing was right: we wanted to marry, and we were prepared to see it to the end. I had become a serious Christian a few months before the wedding and I began a relationship with the person of the Holy Spirit. There was a lot I did not know but I knew that if I prayed God would answer me so I prayed, a lot. But I also did everything within my power to ensure that my wedding took place. And eventually it did.
Days before the actual event when I saw how things were going, I signed up for and attended a seminar, perhaps one of the most important I ever attended in my life. It was organized by me, and I was the only attendee. The venue was inside my head and the only speaker was, you guessed it, me! The seminar topic was: “what do you need to get married?” By the end of the seminar, I came to the conclusion that I needed three factors in place for my wedding to be a success.
- My husband to be
- The Priest
Once I knew this I had my peace. No one else knew I had attended such a life-changing event and they could not understand how I was able to scale hurdle after hurdle leading up to and including the wedding day. On my wedding day, the car was late, I sent my younger brother to go get me a chartered car because I didn’t want to be late. When I got to church I was told the ring-bearer was not yet in church; I simply told my uncle we would use his little boy who was not even dressed in a suit! He was dressed in traditional attire; I didn’t care. Then came time for me to go into church and my Dad who had never been late to church in his life was not there, I turned to my brother and asked him to walk me down the aisle. It didn’t stop there. I walked into the cathedral and there in front was my handsome groom in shirt, trousers and tie without a jacket! My heart missed a bit but I continued with firm steps. I would find out the details later but for now, he was there, I was there and the priest was there. I was content. We were getting married.
When the ceremony began there were maybe fifty people in church, I had eyes only for two. By the time it was over, church was overflowing, my Dad was there to sign the register and my friends were throwing confetti. My husband was still without a jacket but we were married. At the reception venue, the decorator was late and we had to wait in the lounge while she ran around fixing stuff but we were husband and wife and that was all that mattered. The suit eventually came, with a very long story but it, the suit was late, we were not. We were already married. Friends and family were enraged that some persons had tried to spoil my wedding but we were happy because we had pulled it off; we were married. I pitied them and wished they had been at my one-man-seminar. I smiled all through and was filled with unspeakable joy because I knew what was important. It was the marriage, not the wedding. I’d made up my mind long before that day that I was going to have a good marriage and a successful wedding; I had pre-defined the terms of my success and nothing was going to spoil it for me. I’m glad I made the choice. It is still working for me.
Why have I written all this? This is the start of a new year, and whether you like it or not, some things will not work out the way you planned; pre-determine what makes for your success and your happiness. Figure out in advance the things that are truly important and focus on those things. The Bible in Matthew 6:33 says, “Seek first the Kingdom of God and his righteousness and all other things will be added to you.” Don’t go chasing the things that should be added to you. Don’t prioritize a wedding over a marriage. Don’t lose your peace over things that will pass away. Decide now that 2016 will be a good year and work on the things you need to make it so. I’m not saying don’t look for the frills, all I’m saying is set your mind on what is truly important and work on it.
Happy New Year! ©Elsiewrite 2016